Defensive Driving
Sunday mornins are like NASCAR around here.. During the week you see little ol ladies leading a parade of cars thru town, not in any hurry.. Come Sunday, 5 or 10 minutes before church services start, LOOK OUT !! There are 2 churches and a donut shop on my edge of town a little past my house, and you can hear the ROAR of the big Lincoln's engine when she leaves the red light in town, and you can get a glimpse of the little white-haired lady driving while lookin THRU the steering wheel as she streaks by.. There is also a church a couple of blocks behind my house, and honest to God, I have seen cars filled with family, turn the corner almost on 2 squeeling tires !!
If you have ever had the pleasure of seeing the butcher bring out the last box of roasts on-sale at the grocery store, you will understand what I'm talkin about, when I talk about the drivers here on Sunday mornin..
I've got a black-folks church a couple of blocks in front of my house too, and I like to sit on the front porch and watch all the "hats" go by headed that way.. You can smell the "foo-foo" from them sistas a long time before you see em too.. Sometimes when the wind is just right, you can smell the church from 2 blocks away !! If the pastor has one of them "hellfire and brimstone" sermons that day, you can tell when they open the doors after the service, even if your up-wind from it.. But them hats is the kicker.. They got feathers and veils and ribbons and rhinestones and glitter and bout anything that could be put on a hat, is on there, and in colors that I'm real sure aint natural.. You can always tell the sista with the "new" hat too.. She is gonna be the loudest when she gets out of the car.. She wants to make sure EVERYBODY sees that hat !! Now, the girls are a different story.. The girls thang is shoes.. The flashier the shoes, the shorter and tighter the dress !! Gotta have folks notice them shoes you know ..
If you have ever had the pleasure of seeing the butcher bring out the last box of roasts on-sale at the grocery store, you will understand what I'm talkin about, when I talk about the drivers here on Sunday mornin..
I've got a black-folks church a couple of blocks in front of my house too, and I like to sit on the front porch and watch all the "hats" go by headed that way.. You can smell the "foo-foo" from them sistas a long time before you see em too.. Sometimes when the wind is just right, you can smell the church from 2 blocks away !! If the pastor has one of them "hellfire and brimstone" sermons that day, you can tell when they open the doors after the service, even if your up-wind from it.. But them hats is the kicker.. They got feathers and veils and ribbons and rhinestones and glitter and bout anything that could be put on a hat, is on there, and in colors that I'm real sure aint natural.. You can always tell the sista with the "new" hat too.. She is gonna be the loudest when she gets out of the car.. She wants to make sure EVERYBODY sees that hat !! Now, the girls are a different story.. The girls thang is shoes.. The flashier the shoes, the shorter and tighter the dress !! Gotta have folks notice them shoes you know ..
posted by Wild Bill at 4:30 PM
1 Comments:
Man Bill, sounds pretty colorful down there. I get a big kick out of people that make a specticle of themselves trying to look good or racing somewhere so they won't look bad being late. Those hats remind me of something here in Cali. I got to know a certian very large black woman named Yolanda. She frequently talked of getting her hair done but I always thought it look nice the way she had it. Finally she could afford it and she was excited and it was an awsome hairdo. The thing was it did not fit her head or her face and looked like a wet sticky wig. All she saw was the fantastic hairdoo on her head that from my view was assaulting the rest of her. Maybe hats are more practical.
Hope your Thanksgiving dinner is a good one Bill. I'm havin pig this year and I can't wait.
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