The Energizer Bunny
Yeah, I caint have anythang done the easy way.. It always has to be the hard way.. They couldnt just do the scope on me and get it done quick, easy, and less painful and me be healed up sooner, they had to do the full rip and cut me from flank to flank all the way across my belly and thru all my abs and belly muscles..
But I'm a tuff ol bird and am bouncin back pretty quick any way..
The first thang I gotta do is thank the Good Lord for sendin me the best and most professional bunch of doctors and nurses that He could find.. Never in my life have I seen such a truely competent and compassionate group of medical staff..
But there always has to be at least one turd in the swimmin pool and this one happened to be in the most unlikely positions in the whole fuggin hospital.. God's own representive there, the Chaplain !! This old SOB was such a self-servin, self-promotin, arrogant asshole that it just made me sick to my stomach to see him in the hallways..
And once again I got to be an inspiriration to somebody else.. On Friday evenin I got unhooked from all my I.V.s and oxygen and was free to move about and the next chapter in my recovery was to have my bowel functions return.. That had to happen before I would be allowed to be dismissed from the hospital..
I knew from experience that a tried and true method to get that in motion was to have a good cup of coffee and a smoke, so I found what was to be the best the hospital had to offer in the way of coffee and put my pack of cigs and lighter in my pocket and proceeded to the smokin area downstairs..
Seems that the best coffee they had to offer was some of the worst I've ever run in to tho and left me mostly unimpressed to say the least, but I met a guy down there that was due to have his gall bladder taken out on Monday usin the scope but he was still wary of it since he was not a regular VA patient and had heard a bunch of the horror stories that have been spread about the VA and their hospitals..
The guy was in near mortal fear chain-smokin with shaky hands and was a little hard to convince that just 2 days earlier I had walked in in the mornin and a coupla hours later had the full-cut gall bladder removal and was then down havin coffee and a cig and tryin to shit so I could come home.. I even pulled up my shirt and showed him the trail of staples and stitches across my belly.. It just kinda left him with a blank look on his face..
I made sure that I passed on that I had seen many VA hospitals and medical staff and this one had the best I had seen.. I dont thank he was fully convinced but the relief on his face was obvious.. I wish him well and hope his recovery comes along as well as mine has..
The transition from the good pain meds I was gettin at the hospital to the ones you get in a Rx for when you go home leaves a lot to be desired but I'm makin do and movin around a lot less and a lot slower now..
The main thang was that I get enuff pain relief soon after my surgery that I could do the coughin that I needed to do to keep my lungs clear and not have pneumonia set in.. I got the point across to my docs and nurses that if I didnt get the pain meds I needed to do that, that I just wadnt gonna lay there and put myself thru the misery and that they would just have to deal with the pneumonia if they didnt cooperate, but that I would do my part if they would just kill enuff pain for me to be able to suffer thru the gut-wrenchin to do the coughin..
They must have taken what I said at face value and knew that I wadnt bullshittin em and hooked me up one of those morphine I.Vs that all I had to do was push a button and it gave me another dose.. It was set that I could only give myself so much and that if any more pain relief was needed they had to give it to me in other ways.. My morphine kept a record and they could tell what I had tried to get and knew from the sound of me tryin to cough that I was keepin up my end of the deal and they tried to also keep theirs..
But now that I'm home and on the less effective pain meds it sometimes leads to some cold sweats when I'm tryin to cough up some of those difficult hair balls that come along every now and then.. I cheated too and borrowed an oxygen machine from a friend that really helps to dry up some of the coughin..
The Mrs. is doin her part too and playin the part of Florence Nitengale and Betty Crocker rolled into one and cookin me some good Get Well Food and almost drove me nuts hoverin over me at first..
There is a lot more to tell but right now I'm at about my limit as to how long I can sit here and now I need to move to a more relaxed and comfy place for a while..
I hope evrybody has a great Monday..